Night and sky

The day my mother was supposed to return from Kerala with two other girls had come at last. I was eagerly waiting for her at the airport with my father.

For the past two days I was having an eerie feeling. I had this uneasiness and I didn’t know why. You know, sometimes you just know that something very bad is going to happen- That kind. I tried to push it away.

At night before I was about to sleep, the moment I closed my eyes I had disquieting visuals of thunderstorm and heavy rain running across my mind. For some unknown reason that picture had scared me. After all, it was only thunder and rain; I thought and tried to forget about it. But it lingered on.

The day arrived. Two hours before the flight was scheduled to arrive there was a huge thunderstorm; an unusual, unpredicted thunderstorm in Delhi. The flight was delayed as expected. My father sat there watching news on the TV. I too sat with him but my mind lingered on to the pictures my brain was creating for the past two days. It looked scarily same. The thunder and storm, the way the sky looked, everything had such an uncanny resemblance. There was a part of me telling me it was stupid of me to be scared. But in spite of me I prayed, only for two seconds, for then my father announced that it was time we left.

At the airport the board showed that the flight was delayed by 45 minutes. My father and I sat there waiting for the plane to land. And then it rained again, very hard. The time expected for the flight to land was well past. We sat there wondering when the sign would be changed to “Landed”. It was half an hour now past the expected time and still there was no news.

My mother was scared. She knew something had gone wrong. It started when they were about to reach Delhi .The plane shifted violently from time to time. Although this is common, this time it was scary. She had stopped breathing. She had two more girls with her who were travelling for the first time in a plane. “No” she had thought then, “I cannot get them frightened.” She gave a smile to the two pale and scared faces. It was way past their arrival time. They were still thousands of kilometres away from the ground, up in the sky, clueless if they would reach home safely.

The pilot then announced for all the crew members to be inside the cockpit. Everyone in the flight was scared. This never happened in any of the flights my mother took before. She looked around at all the scared faces. Silence. Silence all over. Such deep was the silence that if one could make the effort they could hear around them several hearts beating twice the speed.

The pilot said that they were about to land. Seat belts were fastened. Some took in a deep breath and started praying. The plane started to descend and just as everyone thought they were about to reach the plane swooped up with a jerk into the dark sky. Nobody had any idea as to what was happening. My mother had thought that it was the end. It looked even scarier because there was no crew member around.


In the airport, I looked up at the disturbed sky. To keep my mind away from wandering into unwanted thoughts, my father bought me a blueberry muffin. I found it too sweet and I felt like I wanted to throw up. I still do not know whether it was the blueberry muffin or the fact that I don’t know in what condition my mother is that I wanted to retch.

Up in the sky, my mother was still wondering how this would end. The other two guests with her tried to sleep it off. It was like a Sidney Sheldon story, a fantasy. Could this be really happening?

I had stopped breathing. Something was definitely not right. It was like a scene out of a novel. I looked at the people around me. Everybody seemed calm. I could not digest the situation. Could it be really happening?
It took another half an hour or so for the board to show that the plane had landed. I heaved a sigh of relief.


The pilot announced again that they were about to land. As they touched the ground the plane shook severely all over. It was not a smooth landing, but they landed safely. There was a split second silence and a collective sigh of relief and happiness. Everybody clapped; some laughing, some smiling and some clinging on to ritual. The crew members came out and so did the pilot. The crew members were wearing a look of mixed emotions- fear, happiness, relief, anxiety.



I saw my mother emerging out of the airport. I rushed to her and kissed her all over. She introduced me to the two guests and we left happily.

It was the next day the newspaper carried the story of the pilot. He said that he had lost all connection with the control room. He had no idea how to land. He kept taking circles up in the sky for a long time trying to regain the connection but failed. He called in the crew members and asked them to sit around him. He confessed that the crew members knew there was some problem but were not sure. The pilot said that he didn’t even tell his co-pilot that they had lost all contact. He said he was shivering and sweating all the time, but made sure he didn’t scare anybody else. He wanted the crew members to be around, that is all. But everything ended perfectly.

When I heard the news I did not know how to react. A near to death experience of my mother had bought me to realize a lot many things. I am at a loss of words. There are some feelings that one cannot explain. It doesn’t need any explanation. It is much greater. I had an overwhelming sense of-I don’t know how to put it-gratitude? Joy? I don’t know, I really don’t. I still wonder what would have happened if the pilot was clueless as to what to do. Or if he made a mistake? Or something or the other happened?

This post is for him as a gesture from my part. I want to thank him for bringing my mother back to me safely.


**I think I should put a halt. There is a new born baby in my neighbourhood. Time to play with him.

for my dear friend

I know I only think about you when I do not have any other option.
I know you will still patiently wait for me,
I know you will sit with me and listen to me,
And smile and console me,
You know I love you,
You know I love you when I want to,

But my dear, here I open out my heart to you
No matter what,
No matter how much effort it takes me to build this up,
I will.

With every ounce of my will,
I’ll make the effort to be your friend,

When the world crushes down on me,
I know you’ll be there.
Not reminding me of the many wrongs I did to you,
You will hold my hand,
And look into my eyes and hug me.

I know you will,
And that’s why this attempt.
This meagre attempt to say thanks.

To say thanks for all that you have done,
For being there with me,
For understanding me very well,
Even though I am hardly able to reciprocate.
I say thanks to you, and only to you.

And as I wind up,
I want you to only close your eyes,
And smile into the fresh breeze,
And I will capture that moment forever,
My dear friend.

Flying To Freedom

Always wanted to fly, I had.
Yes always wanted to fly.
Though when I looked back,
My life was a dead sea.
Black.

And away from that place,
I had wanted to fly.
So far away into the vast blue canopy,
That my sorrows just drown away.

And with wings,
Like a white bird,
Like a cotton bud,
In the white clouds
I will hide.

Yes, I will hide.
Camouflaged perfectly in the happiness of the purity
And whiteness surrounding me.
I will pretend to be happy,
Yes I will.

It will bring me freedom,
The freedom to cry out,
The freedom to laugh out loud,
Oh yes it will.

Only if I could fly.