From the womb

Shriveled and tiny, I lay in the dark region
It wasn’t long that I had been there
I knew my mother, I knew my father
I knew the fact that they didn’t bother
They didn’t want me,
So they planned to kill me.

I could feel my mother’s anxiety,
I hated myself,
Why, oh, why
Why am I a girl?
I am not wanted,
I am not loved,
Nobody is anxious to receive me,
Like God had promised me
“My child, I am sending you to earth,
To a place where you will live long,
To two beautiful parents who will hold you tightly,
You will bring them utmost joy, and love and happiness
You will be theirs.”

I had jumped with joy,
Anticipating about my life,
About my parents,
But here I am,
Not able to speak out,
That I love them both,
I wouldn’t bring them grief
I would always keep them happy

But I couldn’t speak
I just lay there,
Helpless,
I knew I am not going to be born.
My mother told me that night
“My love you are always,
I am sorry I am doing this to you
But my daughter, you will live always in my heart.”

And that was the last time I heard her voice,
I experienced a seething pain,
I wanted to hold on to my mother
But couldn’t,
The place where I was
Just turned more darker,
And I couldn’t see anything.
Again.